Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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