i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize