I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
