He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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