she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
