Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
