And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
