it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
