Bisexual people are plain selfish.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize