she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
