So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you never un-have a 4some
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize