I think scott just propositioned me for sex
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
