Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
