Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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