oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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