So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
