I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
