this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
