Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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