p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
