How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
