So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize