I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
