yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
