i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
