I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
