running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
