You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The adults are the big ones right?
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