I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
