had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
