the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
