can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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