My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize