So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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