I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
