There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
