did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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