I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Your cock deserves a montage
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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