Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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