Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
