not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
