So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
