Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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