On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
