I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
