So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
