thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize