Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think my nap took me to another dimension
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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