well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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