My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
