im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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