Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
