I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
