Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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