Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
