Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
