plz talk dirty to me
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
