I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I enjoy the company of your penis
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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