...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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