Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
