I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Is it because I queefed?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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