i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
