Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize