All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
