this will be a night to untag.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
