porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
