i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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