One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
COCAINE IS GR8
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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