i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My liver is preforming stress tests.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
