No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
