I look better un-naked...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
