So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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