she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
