I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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