things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
