How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
